Day 01

You know you’re alive very time you get up. That moment floating through consciousness, where you’re aware enough to know you’re awake but not functioning enough to give a shit. You’re just remembering to breathe and you aren’t quite thinking, only squinting because it’s too bright, listening to your heart hammering against your chest. Breathe in, breathe out. Then you move the wrong way, or stretch for too long, and you come crashing down. Your moment gets ruined by anxieties  and fears, and this gnawing sense of being uninspired and not being articulate, or intelligent enough, to express it coherently. You’ve always felt empty and only recently, you’ve been learning why. — scribbled at 4am

Skye genuinely inspires me. My four year old niece is this bundle of energy and innocence and that hyper awareness you used you hold for the world around you. I wake up daily and practice the same routine: left leg straight, don’t step on it, hobble around and push responsibilities, push the real world outside for a bit. Until you can walk, until the scar that runs diagonal, that takes up the space underneath your knee, looks less pink and raw, until you can pretend that it isn’t noticeable. A lot has happened, and I’m thankful that one of us has kept Dolce de Skye alive. I promise to be around more, that Oscar post is months late, but it’s coming, and I have a lot to say. I’m grasping to figure out how to say it.

Obsession with all the photographical moments of life.

I have become obsessed with this desire of life, experiences, and freedom. This is just a small pile of the photos that have moved me in mystical ways and I find my self, once again, on the verge of  having this complete and unexplainable desire for an adventure.

PLAYLIST

It was hard to decide whether or not to call this the “Oldies”  playlist or the “Dance by Yourself” playlist (?) Non the less, all of these songs are a must have when adventuring around the city, preferable at night, or dancing in a circular fashion. Enjoy!

Native Dreamer

Bringing in the New Year!

​With each year, we are given a new opportunity to shed last year’s “us”. We are given 365 days to become a better us, a fresher us. Of course, within months of the new year, we fall back into old habits, rehash old skin, and delve farther into bad habits. Our resolutions are forgotten. But, it’s tradition, alongside the champagne and drunken kisses, the drop of the ball. I see 2013 as a lesson to better myself, to revel in the things overlooked in 2012. This year will be terribly vague in hindsight, I’m focused more on the imaginable. In being happy, and embodying who I imagine myself to be. Living in the moment of becoming woozy from the stars, falling in love under the moon, and scrambling for paper, a napkin, anything to capture that moment. I’ll use 2013 as a crutch to learn patience and kindness, to truly appreciate the transience of life, and ultimately stop, pause, let a heart beat slip by, and smell the roses. Also something weight and exercise related, in the same vein of New Years Resolution.

The laughter in the air, light talk of the world not ending, relinquishing all built up stress and struggles of the year and just living in that brief 11:59 moment on New Years Eve. It’s not like I specifically look forward to new years eve/ news year, but when the time finally comes it’s like I feel as if I’m getting out of prison after being, wrongly, accused of some crime and “doing the time,” and being able to start fresh again. It makes those promises you told yourself throughout the year (i.e. be kind, be wild, be the ‘best you can be’) seem more possible today than they were yesterday. This year my only real goals are to focus all my efforts on acting; continuing classes at Simply Acting taking more workshops with casting directors, signing up for that scene study class with the showcase, and the list goes on and on. Yet, ultimately, it’s the goal to accomplish this with accordance to the everyday hassle and stress of college and living 2,732 miles away from home. Thank the heavens above for Skype, or otherwise this New Years post would surely have been done in a psych ward (preferably one in western Europe).